Too much ADOM!

You know you've been playing too much ADOM when...

Renumbered and organized by Juha Suvanto December 17th, 2000.

  1. When you walk you only ever travel directly straight ahead, to 
     the left, to your right, backwards or along any of the four
     diagonals. Walking at strange angles is completely foreign to 
  2. You can't understand why you are unable to see behind you
     just as well as you can see in front of you.
  3. You are worried about going into deep cellars and basements
     because of the high corruption.
  4. You always walk at exactly the same pace, and only go slower 
     when you are carrying many items or full up.
  5. When opening doors, you always stand slightly to the left and 
     cringe in anticipation.
  6. You are afraid to use a knife and fork in case they are cursed.
  7. You see a grey knife and quickly pick it up, expecting it
     to be able to cut through anything.
  8. You hack up doors with an axe and use the wood to make arrows.
  9. You accidentally drive over a cat and scream "NNNOOOO!!!!!"
     before killing yourself.
 10. Your mother dies.  At her funeral you try to eat her corpse
     to become literate.
 11. When you see a body of water you jump in and search for
     hidden stairways.
 12. You try to avoid the letter "f".
 13. You refuse to quaff any sort of drink unless it is fully
 14. You try dipping items into water before putting them on, in
     case it was blessed water.
 15. You see a farmer and try giving him lots of seeds.
 16. When in forests you are always looking suspiciously at the
 17. You try to kick stairs to get stronger.
 18. You try kicking through walls to get to the other side.
 19. In shops you try dropping items on the ground and asking
     "How much will you pay for this?"  And then you wonder why
     people give you funny looks.
 20. When you go into a shop you look at every item there and
     try to store in memory what each one is.
 21. In a shop you try to 'a'pply your haggling skills on the
 22. When picking up items you try to guess their weight in s.
 23. When doing the gardening, you sort all of the plants into
     2x2 squares.
 24. You try eating spiders to make you resistant to poison.
 25. You find a pen and a piece of paper, and you try to write a 
     scroll of chaos resistance.
 26. You put on lots of useless items such as sandals, rubber
     gloves and hats so that they will be destroyed instead of
     other equipment if a trap goes off.
 27. Somebody introduces themself to you as "Bill".  You
     suddenly believe he is a powerful artifact guardian and
     attack him, hoping you can get whatever artifact he holds.
 28. You keep demanding that people send you on quests.
 29. You are deep in a forest and get attacked by a bear.  You
     take out your harp and try to calm it down with your music.
 30. You try to make dinner, but cannot find the "h" key on the
 31. You go into an arcades room, seek out the most expensive
     machine, and keep playing until you run out of cash.  Then
     you wonder why you didn't win vast amounts of money.
 32. In a shop, you try to pay with gold pieces.
 33. You smell carrots and suddenly whip out your carrot juice and 
     drink it.  Then you wonder why you can't see better.
 34. You keep looking around in case there are invisible monsters 
     out to get you.
 35. You see a bunny rabbit and quickly chase after it to kill it 
     before it reproduces.
 36. When you see strawberry jelly you think it is a death ooze.
 37. Your house is burning down.  Flames and smoke are everywhere.  
     Yet you stand in the midst of it all, wearing a wooden ring on 
     one finger with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders, 
     claiming that the fire can't hurt you.
 38. You go around cemeteries, digging up graves to try and
     find treasure.
 39. You see an old and very short man, and you go up to him and
     say "quest."
 40. On your birthday, before you blow out the candles on the
     cake someone says "Make a wish"  You reply with "potion of
     gain attributes."
 41. You try rubbing every ring you find.
 42. For males: You steal someone's wedding ring so you can use
     it for the banshee.
 43. For females: You try talking to frogs and kissing them.
 44. You like to eat raw meat and shout "Raw bloody meat!
     GGRREEAAT!!!!!" before going around clubbing people to
 45. When some complains about the fact that they're getting old
     you reply saying, "We grey elves, unlike you inferior humans,
     practically live forever" in a snobby voice.
 46. You avoid black people in case they poison you or summon
     spiders to attack you.
 47. You try to electrocute every car you see, believing them
     to be steel golems.
 48. You freeze with fear every time you hear a *THUMP* noise
 49. At church, when the priest steps up to the altar, you
     suddenly stand up, raise your arms to the heavens, and
     shout, "Ssraxx, I 'O'ffer you this sacrifice!"  Then you
     are confused as to why the priest isn't consumed by
     roaring flames.
 50. It's raining.  You see a pool.  *ssllluuuurrrpp*
 51. You've got your bike helmet, a ballpeen hammer and
     a bunch of Legos (plastic ingots) but you still can't
     figure out how to make it [+6,+7].
 52. Before you go to the Baltimore Arena for the 20th
     time, you decide to break into the Smithsonian mummy
     exhibit, just in case...
 53. When your remote control batteries run out of charges,
     you just keep pressing the button, figuring eventually
     you'll wrench a final charge from it.
 54. When you don't get the final charge, you decide to
     pour beer on the remote instead.
 55. If you go to the store and the stuff you want is out
     of stock, you put every item in the store in a big heap
     and then run around in circles for an hour.
 56. You wonder why KFC doesn't have Hippogriff on the menu.
 57. You pick up every piece of junk you find on the street,
     then go to a church and offer all of it to them. When they
     refuse to take it, you just pile it in a corner anyway.
 58. After you read _Lord of the Rings_ for the fifth time,
     it bursts into flames and disappears.
 59. You can oscillate between cringing Cowardice and insane
     Berserker rage at will.
 60. A girl in a bar asks "What's your sign?" and you say Unicorn.
 61. Instead of keeping track of your baby's first steps or his 
     first word, your baby book lists: First Creature Killed.
 62. You're very careful to take off your hat before going
     to the hospital.
 63. Your primary source of food is the venders at your local
     football stadium. -or- Fried bat starts sounding like a
     really good idea.
 64. You start your own business, but whenever anybody comes
     in and picks something up, you physically block the door
     and make threatening comments.
 65. You write the local legislature requesting safety trigger
     locks on Wands of Ball Lightning.
 66. You shrink away from chameleons, making sure you don't touch 
 67. A gang of muggers attack you, and you attempt to kick them all 
     at once.
 68. You get locked up for racism because you attack everyone black, 
     thinking they are dark wizards or assassins.
 69. If it's a freezing cold winter, you go and live in a cave, 
     thinking this will make you immune to cold.
 70. If something splashes water from a pool, river or puddle onto 
     the ground, you run away screaming, thinking it's a greater 
     water elemental.
 71. You ask the shoe shop if their shoes are made by gnomes.
 72. You don't see any entrances to houses until someone tells you 
     about them.
 73. If you see an object that wasn't there the last time you looked 
     at that place, you carefully avoid it, thinking it's a mimic.
 74. If you leave a town, you wonder why the people standing next to 
     you as you leave don't follow you.
 75. When your fingernails grow incredibly long, you think it's an 
     effect of chaotic corruption, and you drink everything in sight 
     rather than simply cutting them.
 76. When you enter a crowded room, you instinctively look for a
     narrow hallway that you can block with your body.
 77. After a day of running errands, you stop by a church and
     drop all your new acquisitions on the altar.
 78. Before going anywhere, you purchase as much food as you can
     carry because even if you do find some fast food on the road,
     you get stronger just by carrying it anyway.
 79. As a rule, you don't eat bugs, but if they are yellow or
     red you can make an exception.
 80. Rats taste disgusting, unless they are really big rats.
 81. Sometimes, drinking strange beverages makes you feel better
     about your willpower.
 82. Before going to the countryside you eat until you are bloated.
 83. You are cautious whenever swimming is necessary, even though 
     you've had lessons for years.
 84. While crossing large public areas, you are always suspicious 
     and watch out for an ambush.
 85. You immediately check your watch/day planner whenever you see 
     or hear a cute dog.
 86. You insist on an engagement ring with a huge gem, absolutely
     convinced that it must be important, but not to show your
 87. You get very pleased when you see a statue.
 88. In your neighborhood, there are no living trees that are older 
     than one year.  But any nearby creeks are covered by bridges.
 90. You plan everything you do in terms of days, not years.
 91. When you're around an annoying person, you attempt to spit acid 
     on them, but remember a bit too late that you're not *really* a
 92. Instead of destroying a creature's mind with your powers, you 
     have to settle for confusing them with words.
 93. Digging in graveyards gets you in trouble with the police, but 
     no treasure, and your alignment doesn't change.
 94. Despite all your best efforts, herbs and beverages won't 
     combine to make different beverages.
 95. You're somewhat irritated to wake up and find out that naming a
     flashlight after a certain phial doesn't really help the light 
     last during a power failure.
 96. Your teacher doesn't seem to appreciate your use of the 
     textbook during an exam, even when you explain that you didn't 
     want to lose the resource of the book.
 97. You look for a nice place in a small village high in the 
     mountains to call home.
 98. You listen to a lot of cryptic music, taking notes about things
     that seem important.
 99. You always keep a pair of earplugs handy, just in case you hear 
     any high-pitched screams.
100. Your family and friends think that you're a little too obsessed
     about herbs.
101. If you enter a dark room, you wander back and forth until you 
     have covered the entire area of the room, just to see if 
     anything is lying on the ground.
102. If you see something that is an unusual color, you refuse to 
     go near it. If you have to go near it, you will throw something 
     at it first in the hope of killing it before it can reach you.
103. Whenever you see a food vender at a football match or cinema 
     who is selling food you will always buy all the food they have.
104. When you go into a shop for the first time, you insist on 
     putting on a particular necklace and then wander all through 
     the shop to see if a tentacled monster attacks you.
105. If you find that you need a pickaxe, you walk down the street 
     and kill short people until one of them drops one.
106. You go into your local library and suddenly notice how quiet 
     it is.  You then sprint out of the room and start firing 
     arrows at the people inside.
107. Whenever food tastes bland you complain loudly that it is 
108. You are stopped by the police when you are seen running along 
     the street at night carrying a large sack. When they open the 
     sack, they find that it contains large amounts of gold and 
     jewellery, an assortment of weapons, several suits of armour, 
     some bottles of an unknown colored liquid and some corpses.
109. All your clothes have little labels saying things like 
     '[+0,+1]' sewn into them.
110. Before an important exam or interview, you find a pickaxe and
     start demolishing walls at random in the hope of finding magic 
     crystals that will make you more intelligent.
111. If you see a drunken man stumbling around you go and give him 
     more alcohol.
112. If you call on a friend and their front door is unlocked you 
     will walk straight in. If it is locked, you will examine it 
     very carefully for traps and then kick it down.
113. If you accidentally bump into someone in the dark, you try to 
     kill them.
114. When your significant other asks why you've stopped wearing the
     ring they gave you, you tell them that you needed the slot free 
     for a ring of mental stability.
115. If you don't feel like walking somewhere, you will sit down and
     read a difficult book until you are teleported there.
116. If you are attacked by a mugger in a dark alley, you will 
     attempt to kill him and devour his body. You will then walk 
     around without fear as you believe you are resistant to 
     muggers' attacks.
117. You habitually walk around with an ancient bandage draped 
     around your body. If anyone asks you why you tell them that 
     it's in case you're attacked by invisible monsters.
118. You can't tell the difference between pickpockets and beggars, 
     which leads you to kill all of the beggars you see, and get 
119. Upon being arrested and finding yourself in prison, you attempt 
     to kick the door down.
120. When that unaccountably doesn't work, you begin searching the 
     walls for secret passages.
121. When THAT doesn't work, you think it's a bug in life, and 
     report it to God.
122. When you watched 'The Parent Trap', you didn't understand why 
     the girl didn't attack the doppelganger.
123. You didn't understand why your skin didn't change color when 
     you got a new job after being fired from your last.
124. After rescuing a little girl's cat from being stuck in a tree, 
     you keep talking to her over and over again when you are hungry.
125. When you went for a check-up and the doctor examined you with 
     a stephoscope, you immediately pulverised him, because you 
     thought he was wondering if he could kill you.
126. When you meet someone who has a long nose or other peculiar 
     feature, you assume he's a werecreature and get into a corridor 
     so you won't be surrounded by his summonings.
127. In a similar vein, you always watch a magician's act from the 
128. You reread books over and over again.
129. When you went to school, after the day was over you would 
     always go and kill some animals, believing that this was the 
     only way to improve your skills after the education.
130. When you saw adverts for gym equipment that promised instant 
     results, you knew it didn't work that way and sued them under 
     the Trades Descriptions Act.
131. After losing a hundred court cases and finally admitting that 
     the machines do work this way, you still won't buy one because, 
     as you tell the door-to-door salesmen, you have reached your 
     strength potential.
132. Your house has no windows and no doors between rooms.
133. You always take a weapon into shops to deal with mimics.
134. In clothes shops, you ask the shop assistants why the tags on 
     the coathangers for the clothes don't display the PV and DV 
135. When you were small and afraid of ghosts in the night, you 
     always looked in the mirror in the morning to check you hadn't 
     been unnaturally aged.
136. One day, you bought this in a shop...
137. E-mail adresses make you panic (I know, it's been said before).
138. You are taken to hospital after trying to use two swords, a 
     bow and a torch all at once.
139. You get thrown out of the church after putting lots of bottles 
     of water on the altar.
140. The priest just doesn't understand when you hit someone, run 
     into the church and shout 'Shift-O' as they approach the altar.
141. You don't bother with cooking any more, you just learn to 
     preserve food, go out and kill something, then eat its corpse.
142. You forget how to perform simple operations after you've done 
     them several times.
143. When someone says something cofusing to you, you wipe your face
     repeatedly (or stagger around a bit).
144. You're trained in first aid, but when asked to provide first 
     aid to an accident victim you say you're not a healer.
145. You call someone who annoys you a chaotic b*****d.
146. You're not reading that advanced physics textbook until you're 
     more experienced.
147. You keep drinking swimming pools until they dry up.
148. You keep kicking bee hives and after encountering some bodies, 
     stick the rest of the hive in your ears.
149. When feeling truly excited, you run away in terror.
150. You don't pass any gate without trident, medal and crown.
151. When you meet a rat, you are shocked he doesn't look like 
     an 'r'.
152. When you kill someone you are amazed his body is not 
     % - shaped.
153. When you meet a 'greater than' symbol (>), you keep trying go 
154. When you die, you are suprised that your amulet didn't cheat 
155. You are amazed by the 3D world.
156. When you are on ice, you throw all potions away shocked by  
     their lack of effect, and wonder why you don't have artifact.
157. You jump into water in blue helmet, and wonder why you are 
158. You don't like to mix drinks because there is chance for huge
159. You leave all coral necklaces and purple wands behind, because 
     they are chaotic.
160. You spend hours performing to your neigbours dog in order to 
     make it your companion.
161. You always eat food off the floor.
162. You try to 'O'ffer the priest in your local church in order to 
     convert the altar.
163. You always carry a set of thick gloves 'just in case'.
164. You always carry a lump of beeswax 'just in case'.
165. You refuse to wear any new clothes/jewelry before dropping it 
     on the altar of your local church first.
166. You never sleep in the dark, because you're afraid of grues.
167. In a queue, you try to ':s'wap places with the person in front 
     of you, only to find out he doesn't like to be pushed around.
168. You always carry at least two blankets with you.
169. You own a lot of books, but won't read them, because you don't 
     want them to disappear.
170. You don't wear any clothes, only armor.
171. You wonder why you haven't attained Grand Mastery with knives 
     and forks after all these years.
172. You don't chat with your friends, because they don't give you 
     any quests. You just grunt to them in a friendly manner.
173. You favourite food is cooked lizards.
174. You are always very careful not to kick the stairs.
175. You know the local shopkeeper is a lot tougher than he seems.
176. You try to kick down locked doors.
177. You try smash statues to pieces by kicking them.
178. You never read IBM manuals.
179. You wander around aimlessly waiting for that surge of power.
180. You go to Las Vegas looking for artifacts you know you cannot 
181. When playing (early versions of, JS comment) ADOM, you check 
     every amulet with the 'l'ook command, because you are paranoid 
     about molochs.
182. You spend more time reading than 
     actually playing the game.
183. You have an album of screenshots from ADOM, done using the 
     'Print Screen' key.
184. You spend more time playing ADOM a day than you spend hours 
185. When you have a bad day, you are afraid to enter a
     dark room until you've eaten a lizard.
186. At a local parade/event, there is a guy dressed up as Barney to
     entertain the kids.  You assault him and keep hitting him, 
     while trying to evade him in case he uses his breath attack and 
     destroys your items.  Then, when you have killed him, and all 
     the children are staring horrified at you, you eat his corpse 
     so that lightning can never harm you.
187. You see a rainbow and run away screaming about the colors.
188. Your mother-in-law comes round to visit and you throw a 
     colored liquid at her, thinking it's a potion of exchange and 
     thinking it'll change her for something better, like a greater 
189. You see a Pikachu toy and duck away, thinking it's a vapor rat 
     or a chaos rat.
190. You are in the middle of doing something, but lose your line of
     thought and try to use :m to remind yourself of what you were
191. You never go to sleep unless somebody sings to you.
192. In a bar, you keep buying drinks, then wonder why the innkeeper
     doesn't give you handy tips.
193. You always eat fortune cookies, and then wonder why the 
     messages are about what you should do in your life, rather 
     than what They say you should wish for.
194. You almost never speak.  If ever you do, it's usually only in
     single words.
195. You always carry around five marbles, colored red, brown, dark
     blue, light blue and green.  They are very precious to you and
     you usually hold one of them, yet never use it.
196. When you feel that the air in a room is highly satiated, you
     get all of your books and keep reading them, and then wonder
     why you start to get hungry.
197. You wear a backpack filled with items and several blankets when
     you go swimming.
198. You wonder why you can't fit cookers and anvils into your sack,
     despite the fact that you're strong enough to carry them.
199. When you feel an earthquake, you belive it is because your 
     deity is upset and immediately run off to the church to 
     sac critters.
200. You refuse to watch the movie "Gremlins" in the dark.
201. You never open a door if there is a friend or a cat nearby.
202. You give food away to beggars and then expect them to follow 
     you around.
203. You see someone holding a fork and are amazed that they could
     wield an item (will become obselete soon).
204. You refuse to wear more than one ring on each hand.
205. You get in a bar brawl, and when the other guy starts hitting
     you you exclaim, "Hey, wait!  I'm supposed to be able to make
     *my* attack first!"  When he keeps hitting you you try singing
     to calm him down.
206. You pick up every rock and item you see, thinking it might 
     come in useful.
207. Someone builds a big bonfire.  You think that it's an 
     elemental anomaly and throw your precious red marble in.
208. When you get lost in a big building you start leaving useless
     items lying around so that you can find your way back.
209. You always look very closely at a person/animal when you 
     first see them.
210. When you see a statue, you take a pick axe to it.
211. You are always trying to sneak behind people so that you can
     backstab them with a poisoned dagger.
212. Your boss is bothering you to do some work.  You try using
     ventriloquism to confuse him and escape before he notices.
213. You see a small stick that seems to glow.  You immediately
     pick it up and run away to a safe place, before pondering
     what to wish for.
214. You are always checking rods on a set of scales to see what
     weight they are.  If they are of a certain weight you will
     never try zapping them.
215. Using your set of scales, you find an item to be a lot
     lighter than another of its ilk, and you immediately put it
     on/hold it.
216. In a library, you try to be as quiet as possible.  Then you
     try to lure the librarian out of the library and talk to them
     outside, expecting them to give you a weird book.
217. After this happens, and the librarian doesn't give you a
     weird tome, you go back into the library, pick up every book
     there is, and then try to leave.
218. At an ice skating rink you throw rocks and strange items to
     propel yourself along the ice.
219. You are always carrying around with you a big bunch of logs,
     in case you come across a river.
220. You always carry around a large number of strangely shaped
     keys. Whenever you come across a locked door you check your
     set of keys to see if any of them match.
221. You refuse to go into tall buildings unless they have air
222. You/your wife is giving birth.  When the baby comes out you
     look at it and say, "Hey, I pressed 'd'!  It should be a grey
223. When You see a Old Man You say 'portal' to him and then wonder 
     why he doesn't reveal where the Graveyard is.
224. When sleepless, you're afraid to start counting sheep.
225. You've had the patience to read through this list and gathered 
     all the entries in one big html file.

Credits: Tekhne, Saul Cohen, Sam Blanning, p_conrad, Tomasz Olejnik, 
         Viljami Lappalainen, aardvarkfl, Thomas Jørgen Wold Hansen, 
         Juuso Heimonen, Adam Biltcliffe, Juha Suvanto.

Updated March 10th, 2002