ADOM Poetry

An Ode to the Metallurgy Skill

by gut

How I love thee, let me count the ways,
... Hold on, this may take a few days.
I must confess, I do not know,
All the ways this skill doth blow.
What it tells me, I know by sight.
120 stones is an iron ingot, right?
It's maybe the worst skill I've ever tried,
It sold for 1gp in my 'Sell your skills' guide.

It also could be that it helps a bit,
when Smithing 'til you're drooling spit.
Long ago it was studied, because all had doubts,
But all the students gouged their eyes out.
No one knows, after all these years,
Because Smithing will always bore you to tears.
Maybe it's great, but nobody cares,
Smithing would make a dwarven priest swear.

So I search for info that others have found,
Maybe the Guidebook's data is sound.
Reading the Guidebook just left me miffed,
it said Metallurgy is... 'essential for weaponsmiths'.
That helped a lot, and was a jolly lark!
(insert annoying [/SARCASM] marks).
Metallurgy is as useful as a monster slug,
in fact, I blame it for the ingot-crash bug.

Now I search for forbidden information...
I go to the 'improved' guidebook station.
Turning the pages, I'm feeling quite evil,
The secrets of Metallurgy, I soon will reveal.
I come to the section on skills and I'm sweating.
Here I'll find great info, I'm betting.
The code-dived info, I'm disgusted with...
'Metallurgy is 'essential for weaponsmiths''!

To summarize this mysterious skill,
At best it's simply just overkill.
Even if it means you increase your ore,
why in the world would you ever want more?!
Digging 10(!) levels of chaos isn't enough?
You're saying you now want more of this stuff?!
Digging and smelting and Smithing for hours,
In a snoozefest quest for insane DV powers,
All of this, just to make the game... well,
As Silfir has said: 'Boring as hell'.

Updated July 6th, 2009
© Copyright by the authors and Andrew Williams 2000-2009